Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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