it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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