The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
