i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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