no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
