We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
