Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
