Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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