I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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