dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who died my cat blue again?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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