think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
