you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
