the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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