I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
