Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
