I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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