If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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