so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
