Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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