Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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