did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
