The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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