I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
