There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
