you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
