Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
dude. I can hear the air.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
