Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
