Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
