Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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