Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
