Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
