um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
