He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
