I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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