I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
