She's JV to your varsity
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
