Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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