Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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