Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
