It's just like the Real World with babies
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize