Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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