you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize