yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
