I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
