real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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