Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
