He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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