I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
