yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Randomize
