Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
