College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
