I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
