I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
