I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
