jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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