she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
