just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
