I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize