you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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