That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
