paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
