I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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