he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
