Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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