We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
