So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
