: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize