I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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