don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Randomize
